The seven things (and extra thing) that you really have to appreciate about Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus has taken quite the verbal bashing lately. Now I’m not one to point fingers or name names, but Bridget, just know that my virtual finger is pointed squarely at you. So in order to defend Miley Cyrus, or Hannah Montana as she will be known for the duration of this blog, I have prepared a “counter list” of sorts. And it begins:
1. What people seem to forget about Hannah Montana is that she not only rocks out the show, she also chills out and takes it slow. Just let that sink in for a minute. I think that armed with this knowledge you could surely agree that she has, indeed, got the best of both worlds.
2. I think everyone would find it hard to get over a Jonas Brother. I mean, she probably developed rickets from being inside praying so much. Give it a rest Jonas Brothers. We all know that Jesus is a Hanson fan.
3. And I’d like to see a certain hair obsessed girl turn down any member of the Jonas brothers, even if they were the “ugly” one (And anyway that’s a bit like specifying a crazy member of the Hogan’s).
4. She’s not her brother.
5. Remember that time Hannah started dating the short dude? Haha comedy at its finest.
6. She’s not her dad.
7. I think her wig is pretty fucking nifty.
8. (One more point than Bridget I might add) She encouraged Rosa Parks to stay on the bus.
So in summary, is Hannah Montana the best person ever? I’m going to present you with a quote from a young Indian boy who competed on a televised show to win tickets to her concert. “YOU GOT THAT QUESTION WRONG BITCH”. You hear that Bridget? You got that one wrong.

JJ

Anger. Not reserved for flamingos anymore.

I remember the first time I saw a swan. I was eight years old and had finally received the all clear from my doctor to exit my bubble and visit the outside world. Well the first thing I asked my parents to do, naturally, was to take me to the zoo, to see one of these lions I had been hearing so much about. Unfortunately my parents were gambling addicts and had spent any potential zoo money on a shady donkey race at the back of a pub so I was firmly informed, “You’ll see just as many animals at the lake”. This is why, on my first viewing of a swan, I was initially led to believe by my manipulative mother that it was a flamingo. “Why isn’t it pink?” I asked innocently, only to be met with the harsh reply, “Why don’t you shut the hell up and enjoy the flamingos?” Despite the years of therapy incidents such as this have led to, I’ll always remember the first time I saw a swan. How its white body glided across the water, how it searched for bread being thrown by old people with no grandchildren to pester and how it started to chase my mother and I after she threw a particularly large stone in its direction. Maybe that’s why the idea of an anger swan is so appealing to me; because my first memory of a swan will always be marred by the anger I feel towards flamingos for being such a letdown when I finally saw them, 10 years later, at a real zoo.

Ugh. It's my current favourite word.

These days I spend literally all of my time being bored. I text Jason about twenty times a day telling him I'm bored. The other day I went down and told my mum and she told me to go away and stop whining. Jason said I was acting like an eight year old by expecting my mother to entertain me, but really, the woman shouldn't have spawned me if she didn't want to entertain me. Sorry I don't consider Deal or No Deal entertainment!
It's cos I'm trying to study and what I'm studying is medieval literature, which is literally the worst thing in the ENTIRE world. I'm being slightly hyperbolic, cos genocide and Peaches Geldof are worse, but still, why can't they leave medieval stuff in the 1300's?
Cos exams are being awful, there will be a delay in starting up the podcast Jason and I have spent the last year talking about. We spent all of last summer listening to Russell Brand and Matt Morgan talk crap and we can do that, only better. Admit it, you're excited.
B x