All I'm saying is, be prepared...

Zombies and the impending zombie apocalypse have always been huge fears of mine. Ever since I watched my cousins play games like Resident Evil and Silent Hill on PS1 from the age of ten, it has been natural for me to totally fear the undead and allow that fear to impact on my daily life. My fear has only been fuelled by the new generation of zombie films like the new Dawn of the Dead, in which the undead can run. It was always a comfort to me that I could walk a bit fast to escape zombies, but now they're like Linford Christie on acid. Ugh.
[quick aside: 28 Days Later is not a zombie film. Stop being a fucking moron. While it has completely added to the fire of my fear of a scary pandemic where human type creatures try to kill/eat me, it is not a zombie film. The Infected of 28 Days Later are humans that are infected with the rage virus, which completely inhabits their brains and bodies with rage, causing them to experience the adrenaline rush of anger. This makes them highly aggressive and speedy. Eek! Zombies are people that have died and reanimated. You can kill an Infected in any way you can kill a person. Zombies must be killed by "removing the head or destroying the brain". Stop calling 28 Days Later a zombie film. I hate when people do this. Rant over.]
28 Days Later always scared me so much. I don't think any film has ever terrified me as much as that one did. It's cos these people are still people. I always wondered about the humanity of the Infected. That part when Mailer, the chained up Infected, is shrieking and spitting blood and Christopher Ecclestone (I so would) is saying that he knows that he'll never bake bread, tend land, etc. These people are lost forever, and that's the real tragedy. It's hugely scary because it seems really real and tangible. Use of digital film was the right choice here in my opinion because it gives the film a sort of documentary quality to it. The scenario in which the virus gets out seems really plausible. It better not happen, because the facility it starts out in is in Cambridge, where I used to live. It's a really nice city. You should visit. Hopefully it won't be teeming with undead or Infected.
Because Jason is a good friend of mine, he regularly tells me things that make me want to cry over the ridiculous impending nature of the zombie holocaust. He linked me to an article today that tells you five ways in which the zombie apocalypse can happen [here it is http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_p5.html :)]. It's sort of stupid, yet the evidence they give is weirdly compelling and true. I'm not sure what to believe and Jason probably thinks it's hilarious that I'm even more paranoid.
Another thing he has done to make me scared about this is give me the book World War Z by Max Brooks. In fairness to Jason, it is a great book, although he hasn't actually read it all [epic fail Jason]. It tells the story of the world's attempts to rebuild itself after the zombie apocalypse. It's told in a really great narrative style: a compilation of interviews from people involved in the "war" as Brooks calls it. I read it in 2 days as it was that unputdownable. Fun fact! Max Brooks is the son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft.
If anything comes from this, it's that people will think to be prepared. I realise that I'm coming across as a total psycho, but when something is chowing on your jugular, you'll think "why didn't I listen to that psycho girl? She was so right! Ow!" Then you'll start eating your friends and family. You sick fuck. In Ireland, we do not have random guns, unless you are a farmer. Objects should be used to "remove the head or destroy the brain". It's the only way to take them out. Seek shelter somewhere with food and water that is not easily accessed. Make sure that if someone is bitten that they are quarantined and killed. It's mean, but necessary. It's zombie apocalypse and the likelihood is that there is no cure yet, cos all the scientists are too busy running for the hills or eating each other.
My fear is a valid one in my eyes. It was inspired by the amazing fear I had for Nemesis back in the day, as well as that horrible first zombie you encounter in the mansion is RE1, which my cousins, sister and I lovingly christened "Cookie Face". Now that swine flu is around, people are more conscious of disease and pandemics. Just be careful, you'll wish you'd listened when I'm in my fortress and you're dead and eating someone.
B x

Anger. Not reserved for flamingos anymore.

I remember the first time I saw a swan. I was eight years old and had finally received the all clear from my doctor to exit my bubble and visit the outside world. Well the first thing I asked my parents to do, naturally, was to take me to the zoo, to see one of these lions I had been hearing so much about. Unfortunately my parents were gambling addicts and had spent any potential zoo money on a shady donkey race at the back of a pub so I was firmly informed, “You’ll see just as many animals at the lake”. This is why, on my first viewing of a swan, I was initially led to believe by my manipulative mother that it was a flamingo. “Why isn’t it pink?” I asked innocently, only to be met with the harsh reply, “Why don’t you shut the hell up and enjoy the flamingos?” Despite the years of therapy incidents such as this have led to, I’ll always remember the first time I saw a swan. How its white body glided across the water, how it searched for bread being thrown by old people with no grandchildren to pester and how it started to chase my mother and I after she threw a particularly large stone in its direction. Maybe that’s why the idea of an anger swan is so appealing to me; because my first memory of a swan will always be marred by the anger I feel towards flamingos for being such a letdown when I finally saw them, 10 years later, at a real zoo.

Ugh. It's my current favourite word.

These days I spend literally all of my time being bored. I text Jason about twenty times a day telling him I'm bored. The other day I went down and told my mum and she told me to go away and stop whining. Jason said I was acting like an eight year old by expecting my mother to entertain me, but really, the woman shouldn't have spawned me if she didn't want to entertain me. Sorry I don't consider Deal or No Deal entertainment!
It's cos I'm trying to study and what I'm studying is medieval literature, which is literally the worst thing in the ENTIRE world. I'm being slightly hyperbolic, cos genocide and Peaches Geldof are worse, but still, why can't they leave medieval stuff in the 1300's?
Cos exams are being awful, there will be a delay in starting up the podcast Jason and I have spent the last year talking about. We spent all of last summer listening to Russell Brand and Matt Morgan talk crap and we can do that, only better. Admit it, you're excited.
B x