Things I don’t like about the countries of the world – European Edition!

You know there are a lot of great things about Europe. It’s got some of the best people in the world (The Belgian) and the worst (I’m not going to say who it is but I think we all know). Another great thing about Europe is the fact that they’ve unionised themselves right up, just like in the movies! Also, those world wars you’ve been hearing so much about, all started there! Some would also argue that they ended there, but I’m not that well up on history.
Not everything in Europe is gum drops and sunshine though. In fact there are a lot of things about European countries (especially one, you know who you are) that are pretty crap. I’m here today, a citizen of Europe, to list of some things that suck about countries in Europe.


As a disclaimer, I’d just like to say, I’ve got no issues with these countries, racism is bad guys and I’ll have none of it.


Germany
There are a few obvious things that I could put down here but I’m going to look past the stereotypes and present the real worst thing about Germany; the foreign exchange system they’ve got going on. We didn’t even send a student over there, and we were landed with a crazy drugged up monster, who scribbled German expletives on our school halls and rolled joints in the back of class. Is this what your education system produces Germany? For shame...

Italy
There are probably a lot of good things about Italy. I know most people love pizza. I’ve never been a fan. But I can forgive these minor details. However, after a school trip to Italy when I was 16 I can never forget the horror story that I found myself embroiled in. From a missing in action pontiff to a dead health inspector found in the red light district, the entire tour was pretty terrifying. I can accept this was probably a less than fair presentation of Italy, but still, come on guys, get the prostitutes off the street.

France
I had my first glass of wine when I was twelve. I had my last glass (or ten) when I was eighteen. You owe my mother a new rug France. If it wasn’t for you, it wouldn’t have ended up in the bin.

France
And don’t think I’m forgetting about Celine Dion. No matter what way you look at it, that was the beginning of the end for the Eurovision.

Sweden
There’s actually not that much wrong with Sweden. One major issue with it, however, is that “sh” sound Swedish people tend to make when trying to make s sounds. Not everyone does it, I know, and there speech impediments can do the same thing but I’d consider it a personal favour if you stopped. Other than that, well done. I especially like your melodic death metal and the song Mamma Mia.


The Netherlands
...

Ireland
Yeh, I can direct criticism both ways. Ireland has a lot of problems too. Almost all of these problems can be traced back to one group of individuals; The Cranberries. Seriously Ireland, WTF?